I once lost a large customer to my competitor. This was a significant competitor, and this was a devastating blow as it was one of my larger accounts.
My competitor thought it would put me out of business; unfortunately, I thought the same.
I spoke with the account contact, and it was the same. As always, “I don’t know, that’s what they’ve decided. I think it was a little cheaper.” They rarely take ownership of the decision. It’s always “They!”
This is also a common objection or excuse for picking the alternative. Because who is going to come back with money is not important! There are so many factors that make things cheaper I needed more information. I did say, have you already made up your mind I can take another look? But, the decision was final.
I went through the drive-thru and drowned my sorrows in ice cream and salty tears.
The whole evening maybe two days, I moped around devastated. I had worked hard over the years and had grown to love those people in that account.
Then one morning, I was pulling out of the school drop-off line, and one of my best friends called. She has also always been in sales. She listened to my sad story about my competitor winning, patiently listening as I blamed and cried, and said I didn’t know what I would do.
But then, at the last minute, she said very calmly, “Just forget about the loss, the competitor, all of it and let it go!”
Then before I could say, wait, you must not have heard the whole sob story, she said this “Go out and work your business. You will be fine!”
My friend could see what I wasn’t looking to find. She knew it wasn’t the end of the World. She knew my drama was extreme and was making it worse. It wasn’t me or anyone else. In fact, at this point, it was only holding me back.
I had learned early on that showing drama in front of the customer rarely won a deal. I had learned that being direct, sincere, and factual with them had always made my voice more easily heard.
But that day, my friend reminded me drama was doing me no favors at this point either. The answer was, in fact, plain. I was to cover the details being direct, sincere, and factual with clients or prospects.
But to hold my drama for the car ride home. But, there’s a short window that can be used in alone time to cry or scream and then kick it to the curb and work your business.
Yes, you can cry and scream if you want, but let it go. My great grandmother and grandmother were at a kitchen table with me once when I was probably 10 or 11 years old, and they taught me a precious lesson.
They taught me that crying could be a valuable tool to help me feel better. The subject had come up when I asked My Mamaw Maggie what she had done when she was alone all day.
She said, “Oh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I sing, and sometimes I take walks down the lane.”
I said, “cry!”
She said, “yeah, it makes me feel better.”
Mamaw, her daughter, then spoke up and said,
“You know when Stanley makes you mad, and sometimes you cry?” ( my mamaw had seen me cry when I wanted to spend the night, and my daddy said no.)
I shook my head in agreement.
She said, “Don’t you feel better after your done?”
Of course, she was right, and their wisdom sticks with me today. Cry, sing, go for a walk! But then work your business, and leave the drama behind.
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